Any movie or form of media that depicts international travel as anything remotely glamorous is the incredibly deceptive work of devil Hollywood; I want you to know that when I “eurotrip,” it is like I am a walking before-picture that is making a staycation look tempting. I wish I could say this is an entirely imaginative interpretation of what travel-Sophie is like, but I’m going to try to give you an image of what our trip together would be like:

1) it begins with booking the flight. You know I have goeuroed the s*** out of these tickets on incognito mode in order to find the absolute cheapest Ryan Air flight possible, which clearly leaves at an ungodly 4 am. Waking up that early is the great equalizer in the world: we are all catatonic sleep-deprived shells of people cursing themselves for being cheap.
2) hell no am I paying for an extra bag, all my crap for the next ten days in crammed into my school backpack carry on. Hell yeah i have stuffed the water pouches at the sides with my sneakers. I’m wearing about 7 thick jackets on my body and I’m about to pass out from overheating. I’ve definitely forgotten to pack face wash so I’m using yours and I don’t have a razor, so I will also be an ape-woman in a skirt later. And I am going to do my damnedest to try to smuggle in another small bag under my thick layers of walrus-fat like jackets.
Also who propagated this sick lie that you can just pack a light five pieces of clothing and it will nicely last you a week?
No.
I am a serial overpacker, and it will all be stained and stench-ridden momentarily. I have mom sneakers so hope that’ll be okay for going out shoes. And I only packed my thin jacket because it’s cuter but it’s a spring jacket and it’s 35 degrees Fahrenheit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3) I’ve brought bus/plane snacks. What’d you expect? However, in the spirit of full disclosure, Pepa packed me a sandwich that is “muy típico” comprised of sardines and tomato, and I definitely have let it ripen over the course of our journey together, so our room for the night might smell of rank fish, but that is part of the charm?
4) I have also booked our air bnb in the industrial part of town. Surprise! It’s going to be 10€ a night though, is a better alternative to “G-Spot Hostel” that was legitimately recommended, and is only a 45-minute the metro ride from the city. Please pay me back A$AP Rocky also. I don’t have Venmo!
5) you should also probably start navigating right now because the wifi situation is weak, and I can’t make my data work–I might not have it but I don’t know for sure what Tuenti, my Spanish phone provider, is doing. I’m just prone to leading us in circles, because I actively have the worst sense of direction maybe ever.

Anyway, ready yourself for our trip together!! It’s going to be a great time! I’m easy for food, love historical monuments, and think walking is the best way to get to know a city! And a very special thanks to Melissa Kain, Cassie Collins, Charli Suchin, Zach Kirsch, and Dani Kupfer for taking my discount travel alter ego in stride and being dream-worthy travel companions.